What Sets You Free

A Butterfly Notes Series

I woke up at 4 am out of a vivid dream. The kind where you can’t go back to sleep because a million different ideas are floating around in your head and you know that if you don’t write them somewhere right away you might lose them. I’ve experienced this maybe a handful of times in my life and it feels akin to some Devine intervention; a burst of creative thoughts that are just there for me to grab and expand on. 

If you’ve ever read the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert you will recognize this phenomenon. She writes extensively about how creativity is something all of us are born with. Whether we choose to tap into it is up to us. But sometimes the creative voice finds us when we least expect it:

Most of my writing life consists of nothing more than unglamorous, disciplined labor,” writes Gilbert. “I sit at my desk and I work like a farmer, and that’s how it gets done. Most of it is not fairy dust in the least.

But sometimes it is fairy dust. Sometimes, when I’m in the midst of writing, I feel like I am suddenly walking on one of those moving sidewalks that you find in a big airport terminal; I still have a long slog to my gate, and my baggage is still heavy, but I can feel myself being gently propelled by some exterior force…

…I only rarely experience this feeling, but it’s the most magnificent sensation imaginable when it arrives. I don’t think there is a more perfect happiness to be found in life than this state, except perhaps falling in love.”

And out of this dream a new series, “What Sets You Free” was born; small writings about the things in my life that have allowed me to feel more alive, more “Sara”, more able to live a life that makes me feel free.

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all images found on Pinterest

I am a runner. I run because I love the accomplishment I feel at the end. I run because it’s a form of meditation that only happens when I step one foot in front of the other at 6.6 mph or higher. I do this every other day and add extra miles on days I feel extra amazing or anxious. There’s nothing like it. 

Some runs are absolute slogs. Some runs make me feel like an Olympic athlete and some I finish just because I promised myself I would. I never regret going but I always have a little sense of hesitation going in. 

On one particular day this week, I chose an indoor Peloton Endurance Run with instructor Mariana Fernández. I procrastinated until 10:30 am and finally stood on the tread. 

This was a day I reeeeallllly didn’t feel like running. My body was a little sore, my mind super foggy from waking up too damn early and overall I just didn’t wanna. 

On the Peloton App the description of this run is as follows:

Find your strength and break through mental barriers as you adapt to running at a sustained, steady pace in this stamina-building run.

The run starts with Taylor Swift’s The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived. The countdown begins.

Me at 29:30: Ughhhhh fine. I’m here.

I start jogging and Mariana tells me to find my North Star and to inhale, take a deep breath.

Mariana at 28:50: Every run is different. But once you find that North Star, keep it present, keep it up.

Sometimes what the coach narrates is just noise but for some reason today what she says resonates. For this run, I listen and take it in. “She’s right”, I think. Every run is different - but in every single one, I can find a reason to endure. Maybe it’s just to clear the cobwebs in my fuzzy brain. Or maybe I’m feeling super energized and ready to start the day. But whatever the reason, there is freedom that comes with movement.

Mariana at 26:00: After the first song I like to figure it the f*ck out. Get a little uncomfortable and sustain that for the next 26 minutes.

Then she tells us we’re doing 1-3 minutes of intervals of small inclines throughout our run.

Mariana at 21:00: Feel the shift but steady the stride, Mariana says. Our mantra is that moving meditation.

At this point, I’m in the zone. I’m in the part of every run that feels like zen. Where my mind and body are synced and set on cruise control. The next 21 minutes are steady and liberating. I let the music guide my breathing and I’ve found my North Star, at least for the day. This is a part of most days that releases all of what ails me. This is what sets me free.

I’ve included the playlist Mariana created for this run below. It’s a mix that feels dancy and steady - perfect for a 30 minute run or walk:

I hope you find what sets you free today.

Until next time…

Flutter On,

Sara